Last night’s conversation with the Bavarian Monster.
BM: Now you can hear me Matt?
MT: Oh I can hear you Sir.
BM: It’s me Tom Niedermeier
MT: Who, who are you?
BM: My name is Tom Niedermeier Matt.
MT: Oh right okay I haven’t heard of that name before. Would you like to introduce yourself to the audience tell us a bit about yourself?
BM: I’m the guy that you call a monster, a stalker and a criminal.
MT: Oh who’s that, no I don’t think we talk about; are you talking about the Mr X the Hamster dad?
BM: No, I’m talking about you Matt and I will get you locked up. I will get you imprisoned, I will get you fucking imprisoned you asshole.
MT: Wow I’m surprised. Um, have we ever met before?
BM: No we’ve never met
MT: So where’s all this anger, um coming from?
BM: Because you’ve been harassing, because you’ve been harassing me and my family for months now and I can’t wait to put you behind bars. (inaudible, inaudible)
MT: Wait hang on, isn’t that child abuse? I’ve just, I’ve already spoken about that. it’s very mean of people saying that because it means you’re taking away a loving father from their children. I’m the actual person who helps the key workers in the UK.
BM: Getting you locked up is the best thing that could happen to your children.
MT: Oh really, do you really believe that. But have you ever met my children?
BM: No but I (inaudible)
MT: So how do you know that’s gonna be the best thing for my children?
BM: That’s enough to know that you’re a psycho and a weirdo and you’re not good for children.
MT: Oh really
BM: You have convictions for harassment.
MT: I haven’t got any convictions for harassment, and I’ve noticed um…
BM: [Censored, censored-censored.]
MT: Woo, OK look, goodbye, we are not allowed to say things like that mate, ha ha ha ha.